Four Down East Boys
This 2022 edition of Valentine’s Day is unfolding so differently than expected.
On a day set aside to celebrate all things love, our small coastal community, woke up, only to be reminded, the tragedy that occurred is indeed real. A complete nightmare, whether awake or asleep. It is not the first, but I so wish it could be the last.
Countless hearts left completely shattered, after the events of a plane crash during the early afternoon of Sunday, February 13th, that had 4 young teenage boys as passengers on board, as well as a loving mom and her boyfriend, as well as the pilot. (There are also reports this morning of an 8th passenger as well)
Today, I feel led to sit down and write, simply to process what is on my heart to a community that means so much to me. A message to those that are hurting and a few lessons that these four Down East boys have reminded me.
*As I type, there are still many reports circulating online so out of respect of the families, I choose not to share their names as the search is still underway. We hold hope any survivor but there has been no optimism of any at this time. Our hearts go out to each person that was on the plane and their families.
Regardless if you have a personal connection with these four boys or not, this tragedy feels so deeply personal for so many. I think because they represent what we all love about life. Kids. Family. Friends. Innocence. Passion. And even if these are not “YOUR” boys, you have probably imagined briefly, since this story has broke, how you would feel if it your own kid(s) in that situation, leaving you breathless and burdened for these families and their community.
To the parents of these young men, I simply cannot fathom what you are facing today, and will face for the rest of your life. We have invented words to describe a person who loses a spouse (widow) and a child who loses their parents (orphan). However, there has never been a word in the english vocabulary to adequately describe the pain of a parent who loses a child. Nothing about this will ever seem right or fair. It just won’t. I want you to know that your community will constantly pray for you and your family as you attempt to breathe in a world that doesn’t feel the same anymore. You have loved and given yourselves to them selflessly since they were born. You will be reminded as the days go by, just how great an impact they have made on you. Their passion for their heritage and all things fishing and hunting is most likely due to you and the people you surrounded them with. I wish I could do something to take all of your pain away. I pray that the words of Psalm 34:18 will be true for you and I trust that He will be with you today and every day to follow.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
To every brother, sister, grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin, or any other type of kin (whether blood or might as well be blood)… we see you and know that you are crushed too. You are the ones who no doubt have been there in all of those moments that made life sweet for these young men. Families from Down East do life together better than anyone I have ever witnessed. You guys show up for each other, and I just wanted you to know today that every time you showed up, it mattered. Boys sometimes don’t do the best job articulating that, but you always gave them a sense of belonging and stability. Our hearts are with you as you navigate these uncharted waters.
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
To the friends and the entire Down East community, it’s ok to not be ok. You may not be blood related, but to those boys, you might as well be. The tears will continue to appear unexpectedly as you grieve not only for yourself, but for these families that your heart breaks for. That’s what community is and that’s what community does. Take time to remember them. Tell ALL the stories. Look at pictures and videos. Hug each other. And repeat as many times as you need to. Don’t apologize for how you feel. You are stronger than you feel right now, but now isn’t the time for that. Grieve. Be there for each other. And remember.
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
These are 3 simple lessons I want to encourage you with today that these young men have reminded me of.
PURSUE PASSION. These boys literally lived life doing what they loved to do. There is something about being raised on the other side of the North River Bridge that causes boys from Down East to have an itch early on in life to hunt and fish and be “all boy.” These guys weren’t actors trying to pose and model for the front page of the next “Field and Stream” magazine, (although they would be perfect for it) this is who they were. Camouflage. Hip waders. Shot guns. Ducks. Boats. Salt Water. Shrimp. Fish. They knew what they loved to do and went after it. May we be reminded to do the same today. Don’t let fear keep you from doing what you feel like you were born to do. Go after it. Pursue passion.
PURSUE COMMUNITY. Ever since I moved back to Carteret County to become the youth pastor at Glad Tidings Church, I have said that we are #bettertogether (with the Lord and with each other.) Seeing pictures of these guys this past weekend on their big hunt, it was obvious that it just wasn’t WHAT they were doing that made it special, but WHO they were doing it with! Moms and Dads hunting with children, friends traveling and eating McDonalds together, just having fun and goofing off. Loss has the ability to knock us towards isolation but I encourage you to pursue community instead. Rekindle that old friendship that you have missed so much. Call your parents. Ask that new couple from church out to eat to get to know them. Put your phone down and play the game with your kids. Snuggle with them longer and hold them closer. Talk to the other parents while your kids are at practice. Be the kind of friend at school, or at work or on the team, that you wish others would be to you. Don’t wait for others to come to you. Engage your world around you because we were meant for community and we need each other. Pursue community.
PURSUE JESUS. A tragedy like this leaves us all with more questions than answers. Just like in any relationship, so many emotions will be expressed (often times rather harshly) to the Lord. That’s ok. He can take it. He doesn’t abandon us in our times of need. He has loved us through every up and down in this life and nothing will ever change that. 1st John 4:9 says “We love because He first loved us.” I’m thankful that God’s love is unfailing and is the reason we can love others like we do. I don’t understand why this has happened, but I trust that He will make himself known in the midst of it all. Spiritually, many people have just entered a winter season. Cold. Bitter. Lonely. Broken. Afraid. My prayer for all of us is to pursue Jesus. The other seasons (spring, summer, fall) will indeed come again. No, they will never be the same, but they will come. Jesus longs to walk with you through this, and anything else that comes your way in this life. The promise that this life is not all that we have to look forward to, is such a great comfort in times of loss and grief for the believer.
“I’ve heard it said many times, that time heals everything. I so wish it were that simple. Time doesn’t heal anything. Time will, however, reveal if healing is actually taking place.”
I’m thankful today for these four Down East boys. I’m thankful for the impact they have had on all those around them. My heart breaks for those hurting so deeply today and I rejoice for the lives that they lived.
Even though I have written words today, I still find myself speechless, inadequate at what to say. That happens more and more the older I get. I ask you to continue to pray for the Down East Community. Look for ways to help and support. I have already heard of physical locations helping collect funds for the families. Do what you can. It will be forever appreciated.
If you would like to make an online donation towards these families and need an avenue for that, my VENMO is @rylanjones. Please put Down East Boys in the memo line. I serve as a Youth Pastor in Carteret County and will make sure that the money gets into the hands of the families involved in this tragedy. I just encourage you to do what you can through whatever means you feel confident in and trust. That matters for sure.
Money can never take away the depth of these families pain, but it can help them to focus on dealing with their grief and hopefully having a few less things to worry about with the support given.
I will continue to post updates on this blog how much is being collected for them. Thank you for your generosity. TOTAL= $8,960.04
My prayer for whoever is hurting today is simply this- “Jesus. You are needed by so many. Come.”
#prayfordowneast #carteretstrong
