If It Weren’t For Foster Care
If it weren’t for foster care, Ashley and I probably would have never met our boys.
And I don’t just mean the two little guys that stole our hearts a little over three years ago, one of which we have adopted. (We are still waiting on the court system process for his little brother’s adoption to become official)
I’m also talking about the teenage boy who has been in our home for almost two months. And the baby boy who was on the path for reunification. And the brothers whose world was turned upside down (again) due to a tragic death. And the boy who needed a nightlight for reasons a child shouldn’t. And the almost teenage boy with a tough exterior, who ate like a horse, with a crazy bright future and home.
If it weren’t for foster care, we would have never had a chance to love on any of those boys. And yes, our child count so far in our years of being foster parents are…
Boys= 8
Girls= 0
I think Ashley has accepted that we may never have little girls! (Who knows though, right?!)
But let’s be real.
Foster Care isn’t the ideal way that a child should be raised. In fact, it’s about the most unnatural process that can exist for a child.
Imagine the trauma of being ripped away from the only life you have ever known (regardless of age). Maybe / maybe not holding a trash bag filled with what few belongings are stuffed in hurriedly (if the situation allowed) by a strange adult who is now driving down roads you don’t recognize, while sitting in a car with little black numbers on the bumper. Walking up to a front door that you have never seen before, to be handed over like a pizza delivery service to people you don’t know.
Instantly faced with completely different routines and expectations and people and food and pillows and sheets and bed and clothes and toys and friends and school and church and sports teams.
The list could go on forever.
This next statement is THE most important thing that you and I must remember when it comes to foster care.
Regardless of the situation that initially causes a child to be placed into foster care, it is never the child’s fault. Let me repeat that. It is NEVER the child’s fault.
So please take that to heart in whatever role YOU play in the role of a child in foster care.
Foster Parent/Grandparent/Aunt/Uncle/Brother/Sister/Cousin/etc.
Biological Parent/Grandparent/Aunt/Uncle/Brother/Sister/Cousin/etc.
Social Worker. Guardian Ad Litem. Attorney. Judge. CPS Worker. Teacher. School Counselor. Coach. Pastor. Employer.
Every child in foster care deserves the BEST from each and every adult around them. However, many times, they can find themselves feeling abandoned and let down by the very people they were supposed to trust the most.
Please help to change that narrative! Let’s love them unconditionally. Help them to feel safe, maybe for the first time ever. Help them to know that they matter. Help them to have a home and a family and an entire support system, regardless of the amount of time you are in their life. Realize that you don’t have all the answers, and then go do everything possible to grow yourself, and give them all of the help and support you possibly can. Get past your own insecurities and whatever differences there may be, and remember that NONE OF THIS WAS THEIR FAULT.
Here is a scripture that helps me a lot as a foster dad when I may find myself getting overwhelmed at times.
“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”
This verse always helps me slow down and get over myself so that I can refocus on that child and give them what they deserve. OUR BEST. And that may not be easy for you to give for different reasons. But they deserve it. And you’ll miss out on so much awesomeness if you hold back. Every child is a gift from God. Every child has a story. So let’s do all we can to help it to be an incredible one.
It it weren’t for foster care, maybe they would have never known unconditional love.
Maybe… because of foster care, you finally have a chance to love unconditionally, even when it isn’t always easy. Because it’s never easy. But it’s always worth it. Boy is it ever.
There are some people in our lives that think we are absolutely crazy for saying yes to bringing a teenager into our home, along with “all of their problems.”
My answer is this…
If it weren’t for foster care and DSS intervening early on in their lives, there is a good chance that our boys could have been in the same situation in their teenage years. The value of our boys compared to any other child is the same. Every child deserves a YES, no matter the age.
Would we want someone to step up and be there for our boys if Ashley and I were unable to take care of them? YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!
Truth- Having a teen is tough! Which is why people are more willing to say yes to babies and toddlers than they are an older child. Teens in foster care are survivors. Independent. Tough, because they have had to be. So many obstacles they face on a daily basis. They think they know everything. (Doesn’t every teen?)
Our prayer is that every child that ever comes in our care, no matter the age and duration of the stay, can look back and say that they got our absolute best. That’s what they deserve, and the only way they will get it is if we are ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.
So whatever roll you play, be all in. Love. Care. Give. Listen. Pray. Feed. Teach. Protect. Guide. Nurture. Equip. Empower.
#ittakesavillage
Being in foster care is NOT their fault. They need YOU. Whether you know it or not, you NEED them! And yes, your heart will go through a million things. But that’s ok. These kids are worth it!
I am working with DSS of Carteret County to help provide for some needs and wants for children in Foster Care here locally. Examples of this are purchasing luggage (no child should have to put their stuff in a trash bag), toiletries, Christmas Gifts, and other items needed.
If you would like to make a donation to help out, you can make out a check to Rylan Jones (Memo Line: Foster Care) and address it to Glad Tidings Church, ATTN: Rylan Jones, 4621 Country Club Rd., Morehead City, NC 28557 OR make a donation through my Venmo Profile @rylanjones and make a note that it’s for Kids in Foster Care!
Thanks for making a difference in a child’s life!
