The One about Overthinking
A few weeks ago, I had one of those moments. You know the kind. Something seemingly comes out of nowhere to reveal if you are actually putting into practice what you thought you have convinced yourself you’ve been learning.
Simple summary- my phone vibrated on a Sunday morning, notifying me of a text message, less than an hour before I was about to go on stage to speak at my church. My initial response to conflict is always to do whatever I can do fix any issues as quickly as possible. I just don’t like stuff to linger.
After my initial efforts, I still felt like things were “off.” This brief virtual encounter was lingering with me much longer than it should have and my mind was on overdrive.
(Soundtracks)
It just so happened, that I had just finished reading this book, “Sountracks” by Jon Acuff.
A book all about overthinking and how to fix it. He calls broken soundtracks- negative stories you tell yourself about yourself and about your world. (Go get the book. It’s worth your time and money.)
Completely distracted from my main priority for the day, I kept hearing the soundtrack, “I’m a bad leader and I don’t take good care of my people.” Even typing this, I know how absurd this statement is, but it was real in my head at that time.
I had to get it together fast, at least long enough to make it through service.
Believe it or not, I did. I had too. People were counting on me.
How?
I pressed the play button to a new soundtrack, turned the volume all the way up and then hit repeat. “It’s never as bad as you think it is!” Simple, but true. It gave me the peace I so desperately needed.
As soon as the message was done, and everyone scattered, my wife noticed something wasn’t right. (You can fool everyone else, but you can’t fool a spouse that loves and knows the real you!) She helped me focus again on this simple truth bomb, “It’s never as bad as you think it is!”
Replacing broken soundtracks / thoughts takes intentionality. Some will be easier to replace than others. Just know that it’s possible! If you don’t believe me, that’s reason enough to get on Amazon and order the book!
Here are 3 tips regarding communication with others surrounding issues and conflict. My goal as a leader should be looking out for other’s wellbeing in the same way that I do my own. I don’t always live these 3 tips out perfectly. However, when I do, situations get resolved so much quicker and better than when I don’t. Hopefully they can be a guide for you as well.
Timing is crucial.
Be considerate of when you communicate with others. Think about when the best possible time is for the other person AND yourself. You definitely matter, but so does the other person. Just because you think it’s the best time for you, doesn’t mean it is for them.
Tact is always appropriate.
Go out of your way to show tact and compassion for the relationship with the other person and not just your desired outcome. Relationships matter, even when you are mad. So be as gentle as you can be along the journey.
Texting should be a last resort for the big stuff.
Get face to face for the big stuff. Even if it takes a little longer to achieve your desired outcome because you have to wait for a better time. Much is missed behind a keyboard or computer. It just is. It has been. And it always will be. Be as personal as possible, and even more so the heavier the issue.
Maybe a few of these tips will help when desiring resolutions that are full of peace, ultimately limiting our obsessive overthinking tendencies!
#todaysgonnabeagoodday
