Shutting The Playroom Door

Having small children is not for the faint of heart. Despite most of us parents begging God to intervene, our precious little ones continue to wake up, like clock work, much earlier than we intend them too. Then, with all the energy of a Tasmanian devil, proceed to play non-stop games of “Bop-It” with everything in their paths, us included.

Spinning, twisting, flicking and pulling everything we didn’t even know was even possible to do so, from sun up to sun down… “to infinity, and beyond.”

Old School Bop-It Game

Have you ever felt like you aren’t enough for your kids?

I’m not insinuating that you don’t WANT to be enough for them. But maybe, like me, you find yourself constantly feeling like you mess things up, more than you get right?

You might even be rewinding your mind back to one of those moments right now, thinking of what you could have done differently. Wishing you did. Reactions to things like spilt milk, messy playrooms, dirty clothes, putting on clothes, buckling seatbelts, homework, chores, fighting siblings, etc.

We all have become incredibly influenced by Social Media, whether we want to admit it or not. Our phones have become tools that bombard us with pictures and videos of homes filled with families that are displayed as living clutter free, seemingly perfect lives. With children smiling beautifully and looking directly at the camera lens. Children that obey their parents commands when asked to do certain things.

That’s just not our reality at the Jones house.

What happens when we tell the boys to say “CHEESE!!”

Our 6 year old, Brantley, has ADHD and by the time school lets out, his meds have typically left his system. (We have been making some adjustments recently and have seen some improvement which we are excited about) Since Ashley has been recovering from her surgery, I had the honor to spend a few days on homework duty with him. He had one assignment a few days ago to write 3 sentences.

Three little sentences. On what he learned over the first 100 days of school.

It took almost 3 hours from beginning to end for him to accomplish the goal of writing those sentences that day. His paper looked like it had been carried through the rain due to the amount of tears that had leaked from his eyes that afternoon. We started the assignment at the kitchen counter, and finished it up on a wooden picnic table at a park almost thirty minutes away after we picked up his brother.

He was so stinking excited when he finished that third sentence. We face-timed Ashley to let her celebrate with us before he took off to play with his little brother. And I was so stinking proud of him too! Those three hours were ROUGH. Lemme tell you. And I think those moments reveal just as much about us as parents as they do about our kids.

Every child faces their own unique obstacles. Some make friends easy. Others spend more time playing by themselves. Some have “special needs,” physically or mentally. They all are fighting to discover their identity and place in this world. They want to be seen and to make a difference.

And if we are honest, that’s exactly what we are trying to do as well. Because life is SO different now that we have kids.

Parents juggle a million different things as we wish for the best for our kids. And I think thats a part of why it can be so hard for us to do what we do in a way that we feel good about it.

We want the absolute best for them. But we live in a state of being tired. All. The. Time. We struggle to turn our minds off due to our never ending to-do list and worries. Jobs. Meals. Bills. Laundry. Practices. Homework. Baths. Dishes. Church. More laundry. (Just to name a few) Most of these things are done, just to survive and simply make it to the next day. Am I right?!

We all have ideas of what we think our kids need from us. But what I think they need and deserve from us the most, is to not give up and keep trying our best. On ourselves and on them.

I don’t think my boys expect me to be perfect, so how crazy is it for me to expect that from them?

Remember that Tasmanian devil we talked about earlier? That’s my 4 year old Kip for sure! He can destroy our playroom so fast, that the Olympics have reached out about him being on the US National Team. I kid!

Playroom Explosion

But for real, when the playroom looks like a bomb went off inside, it can be pretty frustrating. Especially after you just cleaned it! But I’m trying to change my reactions and learn to be ok, living in the middle of the chaos. When there just isn’t enough time in the day to do everything and clean up all the messes that were made. When you choose instead to read ALL the books, and snuggle a little bit longer.

Sometimes you just gotta leave cleaning the playroom for another day. Or another week!

I call this, “shutting the playroom door.”

The mess doesn’t magically disappear. Oh how I wish it would! I’ll probably even think about it for a little bit at first. Especially since Ashley’s love language is acts of service and I know she loves it when everything in our house is in it’s place and clean. But, then it’ll slide down my priority list before too long. And it’ll help you steer clear of an argument and tears and harsh words. None of us like ending the night on that note.

Realistically, things like messy playrooms and spilt milk are never the emergencies that we initially make it out to be. (Unless unexpected guests are on their way to our home, which is a whole other issue!) But one thing is for sure, these situations are definitely not worth losing our joy over in our pursuit of things being perfect! (Think Social Media World)

So constantly, lean in to the things that matter most, or should I say the little people that matter the most to us, and chose to tackle the toys together tomorrow!

Kids just want us to be present. To love them. To play, explore, imagine and enjoy life together with them.

They also need us to do what is necessary so we can be healthy ourselves. They won’t exactly tell us that in words, but they constantly will in their responses to our parenting. We all know when things are “OFF” with us. And it’s up to us to do something to change it (US) for the better. Take a nap. Go for a date night with your spouse. Spend some time with the Lord in prayer, worship and the Bible. Enjoy a hobby. Workout. Read a little.

You matter too, Mom and Dad. In fact, to your kids, you are the most important people in the world!! So take care of yourself, so you can take care of the ones God has placed in your care.

Here is my prayer for us all as parents.

God, thank you for trusting us with these kids. Help us to be patient with ourselves and our little ones. Help us to use words that bring hope and healing instead of hurt. Help us to not rush past the many precious moments, as we face many pressures along the way. Help us to give more grace than we even realize our kids need and to accept grace ourselves.. Help us to steward our days with our kids in such a way, so that they look to us, and ultimately to You in their times of need. Remind us, when we feel overwhelmed, that you are with us every step of the way, and that YOU ARE ENOUGH. For us and for our kids. Amen.

Remember- Today is gonna be a good day!!